


Tears of an Angel

by Jaliee_Holmes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED EASILY, Dean still a hunter, Fluff, Highschool AU, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 08:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15904989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaliee_Holmes/pseuds/Jaliee_Holmes
Summary: Castiel is a highschooler that leads a terrible life, Dean is the newest student in his school. When the two boys meet, how will it affect the other's life? And if one were to die, what would happen then?





	Tears of an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net. I am SPN221B. This is my work. Please do not report me for stealing someone else's work. If proof is needed, feel free to PM me on Fanfiction.net. Thank you and have a good day. Also, enjoy!

Worthless. Ugly. Useless. Stupid. Idiot. Maggot. These were all words Castiel knew were used to describe him. He never denied them. He knew they were true. He had no friends, his family was abusive, and there was no one he could trust. And then he started high school.

That's when it all really started. Half way through his freshman year, he had received so many threats, so many offers to help him end his life he could practically write a book on them all. So he took the advice and tried to end it once and for all.

The rope had snapped before his neck. Five minutes more and he would've been dead. When the school found out, he was teased more than ever. Six months later he tried again.

Somehow he had miscalculated the amount of his anti-depression (which were useless, in case you were wondering) meds he would have to take to end his life. He was off by three milligrams. Once again, the school teased him even harder. The teachers were of no use. Every day he walked those crowded halls, yet he felt so alone.

He was two months into his softmore year when he tried a third time. This time he nearly succeeded, but someone found him before he completely bled out. He was now known as the kid who couldn't even end his life correctly. It hurt. He wanted it to end. Castiel wanted to die.

But then he met the transfer, Dean Winchester. He hadn't paid him much mind at first, he seemed to be just another person who would pick on him. But Castiel was wrong.

Their first encounter was in the classroom. Castiel had sat at the back of the classroom and as per usual, the seat to his left was empty. Dean came in late, explaining his father had been busy and that was their only ride. Taking the seat next to Castiel, he leaned back, nodded, and seemed to nap. The teacher stepped out, and Archie was out of his seat instantly.

"Move maggot. I want that seat."

Not wishing to pick a fight, Castiel started to stand up, but was surprised to find a hand holding him back. He shrunk down some, scared of who might be holding him back.

"I don't think you need to sit there. I do believe he was there first."

Archie pushed Castiel, ignoring his soft grunt of pain when he hit the ground. "Stay out of it Winchester. You could roll with us if you do."

"And be nothing more than some idiot who picks on kids? I think I'll past. Don't think that would set a good example for Sam," he completely ignored the offer.

"Your loss," he said and threw a finally punch at Castiel before walking away.

Dean turned back, and held out a hand, helping him up. "You okay?" he asked with a grim smile.

"Yeah. Thanks. Why did you stand up for me? No one has ever done that for me before."

"Because it is the proper thing to do," he shrugged. "I'm Dean."

"Castiel."

"Cool name, mind if I call you Cas?" Dean asked.

Shaking his head, he stared into Dean's dark green eyes. "Not at all."

Castiel knew that this would not last long...

The second encounter with Dean Winchester was in the hallways, just two days later. A different bully, Maria, had just finished verbally and mentally abusing him. Castiel took it as he always did, itching to use the knife in his jacket pocket. Picking up his books and papers off the floor he came face to face with Dean.

"Cas! Hey! You alright?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine. Thanks though. Dean right?"

Dean smiled, a slight laugh escaping. "The one and only. You want some help."

Castiel nodded, and allowed him to pick up some of the books. As they walked side by side, he felt as he suddenly had the guardian Angel he always needed. He wondered who in Heaven he had befriended to have gained even the glance of Dean Winchester. He tried to ignore the strong feeling of, well, he wasn't sure what it was. He had never felt this way about anyone before. As he walked along to the car, where Dean's father and someone he could only assume to be his younger brother, Sam, were waiting, he took the books from him, thanked him, and tried to ignore the feeling of love.

Castiel was in love...

His third encounter was in the boy’s bathroom, blood streaming down his arm, a knife in hand. No one was supposed to come. But Dean did. He saw Castiel and couldn't help, but panic. He ran out of the bathroom, and Castiel pressed even harder with the knife. He should've known he couldn't trust anyone. The tears streamed down his face and he continued to cut until he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. It was Dean. He pried the knife out of his hand and started to tend to his wounds. Wrapping the arm tightly, Castiel couldn't stop crying. No one had ever cared for him. Not like that at least.

"Cas, why would you do this?"

"No one cares. No one ever has. When you ran out, I was almost certain you didn't care either," he whispered, leaning into the embrace of Dean's arms.

The older boy sighed. "I'm here now Cas. I do care. I promise you."

Helping him up for third time in four days, Castiel bit back the urge to kiss him. He was lucky to even have him as a friend; he didn't want to push it. Besides, even if he was gay, Castiel was not at all lovable material. He had just seen his worst side. It was only a mere matter of hours before Dean realized his mistake in letting Castiel live.

Castiel would soon lose his only friend...

Dean wasn't at school Friday, but he did see him Saturday. He was torn between going up and saying hi or running in terror. Dean though saw him and waved him over. Smiling softly, he tried to get in control of his mind.

"Hi Dean," he whispered. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Dad left town and I had to finish a little work for him. This here is my little brother Sam. Sam this is Cas."

"Hey. Nice to meet you," Sam said cheerfully.

Castiel flashed a small smile. "Nice to meet you too. So where are you guys living?"

"In a motel room for now. Over at the Cowboy Inn," Dean answered.

"Really? My family actually owns that Inn. It's pretty run down though, not many people check in."

"You should stop by tomorrow. We're in room 37. Two work for you?" Sam invited.

"It has to be okay with Dean. He might not want me around. Not many do," he gave the older brother a pointed look.

Dean scoffed. "Of course you can come over. You're always welcome. We'll see you then," he waved. "Sammy! Let's go. We don't have much time."

Castiel went home, fingering the bandage on his arm. Dean Winchester would be the fall of him, he knew it. But he was happy. For once in his life, Castiel was wanted. It was nice. And even if Dean ended up being like everyone else, at least he would have some good memories.

Sunday he went to room 37 and sure enough, Sam and Dean were waiting. They mainly talked and played board games for hours. Around eleven, Sam fell asleep, but Cas and Dean continued to talk and play a quite game of checkers.

"So Cas, I've told you some things about Sam and I, what about you? Do you have any siblings? Your turn."

"Fair enough. I have three siblings who mainly run the motel, my father is a drunk, and I haven't seen my mother in over four years. My siblings hate me, my father is always abusing me, and the rest of the school is just as bad. Except for you. You've been kind. I appreciate that," Castiel vented, not even caring about what the consequences might be. He trusted Dean. "Your move."

Dean picked up the black piece and jumped a kinged piece. "Yours now. I'm sorry about that. I thought my life sucked. It's a hay day compared to yours."

Castiel shrugged and jumped three pieces in one move, leaving Dean gawking. "I live. I've tried to leave it all, but failing three times makes you seem really useless. I got used to it though. I've just learned that it's my fate to be hated forever. Plus, I told my father and brothers I'm gay, and that made me hated even more."

His hands flew to his mouth as he saw that he admitted his most guarded secret. He scrambled to his feet and went to run, but was stopped. He sank to the floor, and into a fetal position, preparing himself for the beating. Instead he felt soft, warm lips. They met his and he felt tears slid down his face. They were kissed gently away, and Castiel was surprised to feel a tight, embrace instead the multitude of punches normally associated with that confession.

"I am so glad to hear that Cas. Because I am in love with you."

Castiel allowed himself to kiss Dean before, saying he had to get home. For the rest of the night, all he could think of was the way Dean's soft lips tasted like. Castiel for once had someone who loved him.

Castiel did not see Dean until Thursday, and when he came back to school, he was immediately pushed against the lockers and kissed passionately. A furious blush spread across his face, but none the less he kissed Dean back. The slightly older boy smiled as they broke away, only to frown when he saw Castiel's arm. Its bandage had been switched to a cast and was something normally you'd stay home for two or three weeks. He placed his hand gingerly on the cast.

"Cas, what happened? Did you do this?" he asked gently.

Castiel's smile vanished, and his heart stopped in his throat, mistaking the words as not being concerned, but being hurtful, as Dean looking for a weakness. "No, it wasn't me. My dad... He hit me," Castiel didn't hide the tears in his light blue eyes.

He should've known that this was a setup. That there was no way someone as beautiful as Dean Winchester could love him, or even be his friend. Castiel ran leaving a completely confused Dean behind.

"Castiel? Are you in here?" Dean's voice called out.

He had missed most of school, but he didn't care. Castiel had ran off and he had to find him. Dean had already checked half the school, unsure of where he could be. He was currently standing at the bottom of the stairwell, which lead to the roof.

Castiel was caught off guard and cut off his cry mid-sob. He knew that Dean was coming though, as the footsteps got closer. The door behind him was locked so he had nowhere else to go. Curling up into a ball, he waited for Dean and resumed his crying.

"Castiel. Come here. Please Cas, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help. I love you Cas," Dean begged softly.

Castiel looked up and saw the pure honesty in his eyes, and had to listen. He stood up and shakily made his way down. Twice he almost fell, and twice Dean caught him. They got to the bottom and was surprised at the singular last kiss Dean placed on his forehead before they both went separate ways for class. Castiel heart ached, but made his way to class too, not seeing Dean for the rest of the day.

Friday, other than a kiss against the lockers again, nothing happened. Maria and Archie both stayed away, and Dean walked right besides Castiel every step of the way. He had made sure that everyone knew Castiel was his, and that if you touched him you would die. For Cas, school got infinitely better and all he had to worry about was his father. But then, two weeks later, Dean disappeared.

At first he thought it was like that first Friday, he had some work to finish for his dad, so he stopped by room 37 Saturday morning. It was cleared, and when he asked his brother, he was told they checked out Thursday night. Telling himself that It was okay, they probably just found a more permanent residence. Taking out his small flip phone that he rarely used, he dialed the number and waited as it rang.

After three rings, it went to voice mail. Flipping the phone closed, he hung his head in rejection, and started to head home. It would be alright, he said to himself. You'll see him Monday.

But Monday passed, and so did Tuesday. Each and every day he tried Dean's cell, to find nothing. Eventually, he accepted that Dean wasn't coming back. He missed his terribly and was at least grateful that no one hurt him at school anymore. But the beatings at home grew worse.

About four weeks later he was surprised to arrive at school and find Dean standing next to his locker. He was half tempted to run and hide, but he also desperately wanted him to kiss him. The next thing he knew Dean was running his hands through Castiel's hair, kissing him and Cas was doing the exact same thing. When they broke, Castiel tried his hardest to hide his tears.

"Don't do that. Here, look at me Cas. Your beautiful. I'm sorry I left. My dad, Sam, and I had to go somewhere on urgent business. I missed you so much. I would've answered your calls, but I left my phone in the hotel room," Dean wiped away the tears.

Castiel nodded and just snuggled into him. He knew what was waiting for him when he got home, but couldn't care less. Right now he had Dean, and Dean was all he needed.

Two days later Castiel didn't show up for school. Dean didn't think much of it at first until an announcement came over the speaker. That's when his heart stopped.

"Good morning students! This is your principal, Principal Anderson. I would like to ask that we all took a moment of silence for Castiel Novak who died last night.... Thank you."

Dean's heart stopped. Castiel was... dead? He dropped his books and ran out working his way to the address Castiel had given him. He saw the body bag being sealed up and the Castiel's father being taken into custody. He suddenly couldn't breath and all he could remember was crying. When his dad arrived to pick him up from the front steps, he had been crying for hours. He was an emotional wreak.

Dean didn't speak for days. He didn't pick up his phone, he refused to go to school, and he completely ignored Sam. It wasn't until he heard his phone ring because of a voicemail reminder, that he even took a sip of water.

He listened to the voicemail, and realized that Castiel being dead was his fault. If he had just picked up the phone, He might've heard this.

"Hi Dean. It's me, Castiel. I don't think I'll be at school tomorrow. I don't think I'll ever be at school again. I just want to thank you for being my friend. You were the only one I ever had. I love you Dean. Bye."

Dean archived the message and listened over and over again, until he finally collapsed in tears, unable to bear the pain. Carefully he searched the few memories he had of Castiel.

The way he had been surprised when Dean stood up for him. How he been extremely grateful for something as small as carrying his books. How he hadn't ever expected the help when he was cutting. The way his soft lips felt and tasted. It was all there and Dean would never let go of the few moments they shared together.

He couldn't help, but think about how lucky he was to have his dad and Sammy.

After the funeral, he had gone to Castiel's grave. The headstone was plain and he didn't have anything to say, he just knew that Castiel had been an Angel in disguise, and he was finally where he belonged.

* * *

 

_I **t's been five years since Dean first laid eyes on Castiel. Five years of pain, anger, and sadness. When the Winchesters return to that exact high school because of a case, he's not sure he can take the flood of memories. What happens though when the ghost is the one and only, Castiel, the boy he still loves?**_

* * *

 

"Dean! Hurry up! We need to leave in ten!" Sam shouted.

Dean rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the pain. His family would find it stupid if they knew he was grieving the pain of losing a boy he knew for only two months. He didn't care, Castiel had been smart and cute and everything he had ever wanted. He was the only boy Dean had ever kissed. He slept with women quite often, trying to get over his feeling for Cas, but it never worked.

He knew exactly where they were headings. He was in no rush to get there. Sam needed the practice more, maybe dad would just take him. He knew that going there would just distract him. And right now, they just couldn't have that.

A series of murders had been happening lately. The strange thing was that all of the security cameras showed the same thing. Someone being stabbed three times in the chest and then once in the head. The victim would try to defend themselves, but it was difficult when your attacker was invisible. If they found out who- or what- was behind this, they'd be out of there quick as lightning. Far as they could tell, it was just a vengeful spirit. Killing it would be easy. The hard part was finding the correct bones or item it was attached to.

Straightening his tie, Dean stepped out of the Impala and walked towards the latest victim. Stopping at the crime scene tape, he held out his badge.

"I'm Agent Potter, FBI. This is my partner, Agent Castillo, also FBI," he introduced himself and his brother.

"FBI? What brings you here?"

The sheriff walked up, and answered for them. "This is the eighth victim. It officially makes it a serial killer, and now out of our district. Get these two young men whatever they might need. Gentlemen, I'm Sheriff Scott. We've identified the victim as Joshua Nelson, a softmore who was just working late on his school project. According to some of his fellow schoolmates, he was very depressed and his family wasn't what you'd call kind. This has been the same for the last seven victims. I assume you've seen the security footage?"

Dean nodded. "We left our case files behind though. Any chance we could get a copy of each?" he asked.

"Of course. I'll have Jerry get those to you. Do you want the full tour or will you just go off on your own?" Sheriff Scott offered.

"I'll take the full tour," Sam said. "Potter here will just want to take a look over himself."

"Sure thing. Just follow me," the sheriff gestured.

Dean mouthed thank you, and Sam smiled slightly. Biting his bottom lip, Dean walked into the high school. He had gone to at least a hundred different schools in his life time. It was hard to pull off, but he managed. This one though. This one was where he had met the love of his life. Most would call him crazy, but the second he had seen those light blue eyes, he had been in love. Working his way through the school, he visited a certain locker. He smiled at the memory, remembering how soft Castiel's lips were. As he looked closer he saw a blood splatter and a dent, almost as if something had been banged against the locker and pushed through someone's...

"Oh. Oh," Dean muttered as he realized that this must have been where one of the murders had happened.

He snapped a picture, and made his way through memory lane. When he came to the classroom he first met Castiel in, and at the exact desk was a dent a small blood splatter, he started to get suspicious. Heading off to the hallway, he found the exact same thing.

Each spot he visited that he and Castiel had stood some years ago had a dent- even when there was nothing, but concrete- and a small blood splatter. The bathroom, the stretch of lockers where his had been, the bottom of the stairwell and the top which lead to the roof. Each one had been where one of the murders had been committed. The newest murder of Joshua Nelson had happened where the Impala had been parked when he helped Castiel with his books. That was all of the places he and Castiel had had something happen. There was one other place, but it wasn't in the school. It was at the Cowboy Inn, room 37.

Calling Sam, he made his way back to the Impala. When his brother picked up, he had just started the engine.

"What's wrong? Where are you?" Sam asked.

"I think I might know where another murder is. I'm about to head off now. Check for EMF readings and then meet me at the Cowboy Inn. You do remember where that is right?" Dean spoke rapidly. "Sam? You there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Dean, is there something you want to tell me?" he asked.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip and swallowed some fear. "Sam, ask Sheriff Scott to pull up the case file on Castiel Novak from five years ago. I need to know how he died."

"Dean, isn't that the boy who..." Sam never got to finish his sentence.

"Yes. Just do as I ask. Please Sam. This is somewhat important."

"I will. Be safe out there," Sam reinsured him.

"Thanks. You be safe too."

"Always."

As the phone call was ended, he pulled up to the motel. He got out and Dean hurriedly picked the lock. Stepping in, he nearly threw up at the smell. Though he was just in time to find what would've been their ninth victim. Firing a salt round into the ghost, he helped the girl up. She was sobbing and basically collapsed in his arms.

"Hey, it's okay. I got you. No one's going you hurt you now. What's your name?" Dean cradled her.

"Hailey. Hailey Loone. How did you find me? Who are you?" she asked.

Dean smiled slightly. "I'm Agent Potter. I'm with the FBI. I didn't know who I'd find here, I just knew I'd find someone. Why were you here?"

"I came here to kill myself," she whispered. "I just couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to die. No one loves me, and my father is really abusive. I'm just not strong enough to last this all."

The scars on her arms though said enough. She was abused at home and at school. The teachers were useless. Death threats and offers came from everywhere. She was close to giving up. In fact, she already had. She had to have tried more than once already. Pulling Hailey closer, he leads her out of the room.

"It's alright. I understand. You'll get through this, you just have to stay strong."

"Have you ever attempted suicide Agent Potter?" she asked.

Dean shook his head. "No, but I had a close friend who did. Three times in fact."

"Then you wouldn't understand. I don't honestly understand myself. Before I started this high school I was happy. But then I just got depressed. My family started hating me, friends seemed to vanish, and I swore I saw this kid. He looked scared. He seemed to begging for help, but I was the only one who saw him. If you’re the FBI I can tell you this. Those other kids who were murdered. They saw him too. One tried to help him, but he just ran up the stairs to the roof and hid. The kid who chased him up there was Joshua. He was killed this morning. But I assume you knew that," Hailey spoke as they drove along, a hint of fear in her voice.

"This boy... What did he look like?" Dean asked.

"Short, dark brown hair, really light blue eyes, scars all up his left arm."

"Did he have a bandage or cast on his left arm ever?"

"Yeah, does that matter?" she questioned.

Dean opened his phone and called Sam. "Because I might be wrong, but I believe that boy you were seeing is Castiel Novak. He used to go there before he was murdered. Three stabs to the chest, one to the head. I'm going to need your help."

"Sure, anything," she answered.

Holding a single finger to his mouth, he started to talk to Sam. "Hey Castillo. Did you get anything on the Novak case yet?"

"Yeah. It says here he was killed with three stabs to the chest, and one to the head. The one to head is what really did him in for though. Just like all of these cases. Get this though. When they found him, his head had been pounded into a wall. It left a dent and a small blood splatter. That's been found at every crime scene," Sam rambled off information.

"His father. Where is he?"

"Umm... Dead. It says the boy's father died six days after murdering his son. Alcohol poisoning apparently. Dean, if his dad is dead and was cremated..." Sam's voice was full of regret.

"No need to say it. I know."

"I'm sorry Dean. I know how much this must hurt," Sam tried his best to sooth him.

Dean shut the phone, trying his hardest to ignore the stinging feeling of tears. They pulled up to the school and Hailey got out while Dean worked to regain his composure. Smiling broadly, he walked into the school and came face to face with Sam. As they walked along, he asked him questions.

"Any EMF?"

"Through the roof. But only in certain spots where each victim was killed. That makes some sense, but still leaves you to wonder..." Sam trailed off.

Dean nodded. "I think I have an idea. Hailey here is going to help us since I saved her."

The girl nodded and stopped by a row of lockers. "'There. I first saw the boy there. He didn't look scared that time though. He looked happy, flustered none the least, but happy and pleased."

Dean smiled slightly, remembering how he had pushed him up against the lockers and kissed him and how he had kissed him back and oh how good it felt.

"Then he took off running. Up the stairs. There he looked scared, as if someone was going to hurt him. He walked slowly down the stairs. He tripped twice, but someone, or something, caught him. The next time I saw him was in home room. He looked really nervous them. And then at another locker. His hands were above his head, fingers intertwined, almost as if he had them behind something. He had his head tilted up and eyes closed. Another time he seemed to have fallen in the hallway. Once I saw him in boy’s bathroom, the girl's was out of order so we all had to take turns, and out in the front, where Joshua was killed. And then once outside the Cowboy Inn," she said nervously. "Does that help?"

"Thank you, it does. One more thing. Did anything special ever happen there this year?" Dean questioned.

"All nine places were vandalized, but no, there was nothing else," she said.

"Okay. Your free to go."

When she was gone, Sam turned to Dean and looked him in the eye. "Dude, that could be it. He could've turned vengeful when they vandalized the place. Did these places mean anything to him?" Sam questioned.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. But not just to him, but to me too Sam. Those were places where we had memories."

"Whoa. Love even in death. Think that might be why he didn't go with his reaper?"

"Probably," Dean kept his answers short.

Sam gave his brother a pitiful look. "You do know we'll have to burn his bones right?"

"I know. Could I just have a second," he asked in a small voice.

Sam left and Dean placed his hand on Castiel's locker. "Oh Cas... I wish I could've saved you. I loved you Cas. I still do. I've tried to move on, but I just can't. No one has made my heart leap at their sight like you did. I'm sorry we have to do this. I still love you. Nothing and no one can ever change that. I do hope you understand."

A few hours later, around one in morning, they were pouring salt in a casket. Sam lighted a match and gave it to Dean.

"Do you want to do it?"

Dean's shaky hand took it and dropped it inside. The fire took off quickly and Dean looked away, knowing that this was officially the end of Castiel Novak. He let a single tear fall. And then he walked away.

Castiel had been right. Dean Winchester had been the fall of him.


End file.
